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Saturday, December 23, 2006

The Dream Oracle

It’s been a while since I had a dream about something very exciting. I had one last night, but it’s not just a dream dream. It’s a really emotional dream that involved a bunch of people I know, but focused on the one I love the most. Yeah, it’s about a girl. It’s always about a girl I like, but it’s so complicated. I just wish the thing that had happened in my dream could happen in my real life.

This dream was vague, but it’s so strong that it lingered on my mind somehow. I want to write it down to eternize it so I can reread it any time I want, and so I won’t forget how it went. The dream told about a life of me and this girl I like. I don’t know. I have been trying not to fall in love with this girl. I have tried to limit myself and realize that it’s never going to happen, but there is still some part of me, deep inside my soul that wanted it to happen so badly that it led me to this dream. I guess you couldn’t ignore this feeling after all. Even though you’ve known it’s not going to happen in the present moment, it’s still a beautiful thing to wonder how it would feel if it did happen,
what if…

It may sound absurd, but in this dream, I was with her. Living in the same world. Going to the same class, maybe at school or college, I didn’t know. She was as beautiful in this dream, perfectly amazing as I would have predicted. And so we’re in the same class, but that’s not the only people there. There’re a bunch of other students who I happened to know, but I barely recalled, except one. This guy is her best friend in the real life, let’s call him Hanz. Hanz was NOT a good friend of her in this dream; instead, he was her boyfriend. He sat together with her in class, at the very back of the rows. I didn’t know where I sat. Not yet.

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And then something happened that changed it all. I’ve told you it was vague, but I could remember the time when she and I spent expensive time together. We were traveling and talking a lot, and somehow a bind was created between us. It felt so good. I remember we were walking down a path next to a swimming pool, filled with people recreating and having fun, as we were. She and I were an item. We both knew that. We both felt like we were supposed to be with each other, that we were meant to be till the end.

It may be unclear what we did and said, but the emotion was indescribably powerful. I still can throttle my heart into pieces whenever I remember all the sensation and realize that it can never happen.

And so we told each other about what we supposed to do. We knew we should be together from that time being, it just couldn’t be ignored, what they call… what they call… oh yeah… that little bastard called love.

I reached her hands, held them tightly and really felt her beside me, walking along side with me forever, her scent to play my brain. From that second, she was my girlfriend, the person I always wanted to be with. And I could tell that she feel the same way. That was the most relieving part, as if after I had learnt that, I knew that we could overcome everything that comes against us—whether it’s loneliness, distance, unfaithfulness, or even Hanz.

So we headed back to class. There was no Hanz there; we knew that he hadn’t arrived just yet. And so I sat with her at the very back of the rows, the exact place where Hanz would have been. It felt like I was replacing Hanz’ position but I didn’t care. Coz it didn’t matter no more. I have found my love. Nothing could come between us then. And then Hanz entered the room, watched us (and particularly me) and I swore I could feel something extremely disturbing on his look. I sure knew what it was, since I was depriving his girlfriend. But I knew too, that he was not even matched as her boyfriend. I was. Everyone in the world knows it. She knows it, Hanz does too. That’s the perfect world where things like those can really occur. But honey, it is no perfect world out here. We can never be together.

This reality may not be real and may not be materialized in a few years to come (or like, ever)—but I want you to know one thing. The feeling, the love, the emotion which was captivated inside me, it was real, and it will never fade away.

Like a song
Out of tune and out of tone
All I needed was a rhyme
For you
C’est La Vie

Do you give
Do you live from day to day
Is there no song I can play
For you
C’est La Vie

Ah… Ah…
C’est la vie
Who knows, who cares
For me
C’est La Vie


  1. Ewww... (sounded like Summer).. one comment: so damn longggg blog... huahua.. anyway, this is my first time writing a comment in a blog. hu2.. Anyway your dream was quite clear,which I never really remembered what Ive dreamed of and are u really falling in love!?? the question is: who is that girl??

  2. wakakakaka.. Bam, next time can u plz try to write a more picture-ful blog? lol
    Bam, i think this is our another soulmate *haha*.. I oso remembered my dream very clearly in the nex morning, well, of coz those dreams that I wan to remember only lar..

    Actually ho.. since yesterday, i alr pengen banget ask this, "who is that girl ?????" but i afraid i might be sounded vr kepo.. but since lucy asked it first so... *haha*
    so bang, are you falling in love again? or re-falling in love? oh, come on.. ^^ who is that unlucky girl?

  3. Lucy.. Ewww¿¿ hahaha.. That's ur first impression for my lovely blog? hahaha.. Is the dream seemed clear to you? i thought it was so vague.. I dun know.. coz in the real dream it was..

    And Jacq.. i know u always have weird dreams . haha care to tell me about it ok hahaha..

    And about that girl.. Hm,... I dun think I'm gonna answer that.. hehe.. jel.. through time.. u'll know.. wakaka

    Thx again for ur comments.. both of you. Just don be bored to do that.. hehe..

  4. reading this blog make me tot of my weird dream too. it was so real and full with emotions!

    the pic that u upload is placing at the right way!

    ( iya, jacq, i also wondering who is the gurl~~do you ahve any idea?)


    dream reflects out thought and wants in life. i can see how much you put your love on this lovely girl!

    she must be an amazin girl~~perhaps you cna describe what makes u attract to her or some unique characters that stole your heart away?


    nothing in the world is impossible. especially in romantic relationship. when right time comes, maybe there will be a fruitful experience...who knows.

    just be faith to yourself!