You People Are Predictable

♀ If you marry someone that's way too old for you, then you're all for the money.

○ If you screwed up every relationship you've ever had, then you're a wreck.

○ If you never have a relationship with anyone, then you're an even wreck than I thought.

♀ If you hate your mother, then she is what you'll become.

♀ If you're one of those chicks that says "You're so dead" or "We're like bestfriends" and use the words "so" and "like" in your every sentence, then you're really nobody but a bitch.

♂ I you are that guy who surfs and plays football and works out everyday because you have to stay shaped so that you can attract girls, then you should know it's not really "girls" who'll come to you. It's more like "horny bitches".

♂ If you're that guy who doesn't work out, doesn't play any sports, who stays bloated and permanently places yourself in front of the TV, then you're those dreamers who think you can score when you really can't.

♀ If you're born in rich family, own a beautiful face, and constantly post your own pictures in your own blogs, become a model and being worshiped by horny guys, then you're a Dawn Yang.

Dawn Yang.

♀ If you somehow can't or won't or unable to date a guy without a car, then you're a perfect stupid narrow-minded Medanese girl.


♂ If you think you're a wizard with a bolt-of-lightning-shaped scar on your forehead, guess what . . . . then you're NOT a Harry Potter as much as you're not a freaking Wizard. Wake up! Wizards don't exist, idiot!

Harry Potter.

♀ If you're just an average looking girl with tons of money, and then you go and get a heavy make-over to embellish your face after you experiment with hideous clothes, then you are either a XiaXue or a cheap barbie doll. Can't really tell the difference.

XiaXue and XiaXai.

♂ If you're blind and love to sight-seeing for the reasons only known best to you (perhaps to prove how idiotic you are), then you are a Gus Dur.

The One and Only, GusDur.

♂ If you're a young looking old man with a son almost look like your own age, then you're Brendan Fraser in Mummy Three.

Brendan Fraser in the Mummy 2.

♂ If you're half fox half Steve Carell, and you wander around wondering if you're supposed to be a government agent or a Messiah or a Hokage, then you're not Naruto, nor are you Steve Carell. You're just really confused.

Steve and Naruto. Nothing in common, actually.

○ If you're dead, then you're a corpse.

A Corpse, standing. Behind you! WAAA!

○ If you're still alive, will you, after reading this nonsense?

♂ If you think you're Barack Obama who's going to lead the free world, think again!

Barack Obama,out of his barrack.

○ If you always smile like Fernando Sucrè but wink like Rowan Atkinson, I'm going to kill myself.

Fernando Sucre and Rowan Atkinson, two of two kinds.

♂ If you are funny, since pretty much everybody you know have told you so, and you have a hairy leg, then you must be an unknown species of monkey-clown in a circus if not a Kenny Sia.

Kenny Sia and a monkey, the resemblances are uncanny. :D

No. Wait. Definitely the monkey.

○ If you believe most of this crap I've written, you must be Xenophilius Lovegood, except you're a muggle. And you're Bald. Really Really Fat. OK Do I need to continue? :D

Xenophilius Lovegood, or what he should look like.

☻Peace Out, Guys.