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Sunday, August 10, 2008

Relapse

Well, even the greatest of us makes mistakes.

I am feeling very lonely these recent few days. I don't know why. Friends are all around. I guess it's because I don't see them often enough. How can you feel lonely in a world full of people? How can you reach out? How can you make people see?

Oh... I really need to find me a new job!

I was feeling very lonely last night. I was going home as usual, alone, on a Saturday night. The streets were crowded with couples and those of them who'd found someone. Even the ugliest one of them had found someone. It's like a lonely heart with a blind eye, couldn't see what's there. Hopeless and aimless. Is there anyone who can help me without judging me? I'm dead tired for people to judge. Piss off!

I am feeling very lonely even when I'm sleeping. I keep having these dreams of companionships. There were a bunch of people I know from my past. I think I've dreamed every single one of them. The dream varies from schools, houses, dramas, adventure, misadventure, to sex.

I'm feeling rather guilty. Being happier than I used to be turns out to be more difficult than I thought. I still am lonely after all. I'm sorry for this sad post. It's nothing important or worth reading. But this complain and desperations exist only for this moment. This moment of relapse.

Oh! Somebody help me!

I don't think I can take it anymore.

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