Fire

There is something in your life, you've known it for so long yet you don't understand its meaning completely... until one specific time in your life, that's when you finally understand what it means.

For me, it is a song. An old song by Backstreet Boys. It's called "I want it that way". Someteen years ago, when I first listened to this song, I was only captivated by the tone, the group and the gorgeousness of them, but I didn't catch what the song means.

Today, I finally understand it, completely.

It is a very sad song after all. Why I can suddenly understand it? It's only because I'm living it, every word of it.

You are my fire, The one desire, Believe when I say, I want it that way.

But we are two worlds apart, Can't reach to your heart, When you say, That I want it that way


Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way

Am I your fire, Your one desire, Yes I know it's too late, But I want it that way

Now I can see that we're falling apart
From the way that it used to be
No matter the distance
I want you to know
That deep down inside of me

You [still] are my fire
The one desire
You are
You are, you are, you are

Don't wanna hear you say
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way

Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say

I want it that way


I don't know if you understand it at all, if you're reading it. Perhaps you can, perhaps you cannot. Perhaps you will be able to when you're living it like me, or perhaps you can understand it if you're the one this song is sung to.

I sang this song yellingly today, hoping it could make me feel worse, so bad that I should never feel like this again. And today when I see [saw] your name, I will not call you.

And it is even not the point. When you see me, will you call me?

.