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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

At the end of each...

... begins a new.

Dating in America and in Indonesia is totally different. When you see how Indonesian people do it from the western perspective, it's a really funny thing, if not awkward. I am an Indonesian, but to tell the truth, since I don't really fancy about this country I'm living, I always like the American way of things and that includes the dating style. Indonesian dating style is very uptight, unromantic, and so not classy. It always contains pretending and disregarding of other people feelings. I am no expert of dating whatsoever but at least I can tell when I'm having some awkward relationship that is unclear and vague. Boy, what a waste of energy, time and money.

Here are some things I notice about the difference between American and (lousy) Indonesian dating culture.

1. Before, before the date takes place, the guy and the girl make an appointment, a date, where to meet, and when. About transport, it's not really a big thing. The guy will be there on his own way, and so will the girl. If the girl is having trouble at some point, she can call the guy for transport. Or sometimes the guy offers her without her asking. That is considered "sweet" or "Sure, thanks!". Bottom line, transport is no big deal. Back to Indonesia, somehow there's an unwritten law that the "guy" must provide the transport, and it is a very big deal. The girls know it, the guys know it. They just don't talk about it, openly at least.

2. During the date, they both know to focus about the night. About the two of them. They get to know each other and talk respectively of their lives. The main idea is to have a great night, a great date. They both know that they don't know what's about to happen. Can this guy be the guy? Can this girl be the one? Will there be a second date or else? Back to Indonesia, everything is talked during the date, sometimes even roughly stuffs that don't suit the situation. The objective is NOT to have fun, but maybe to prove to the world that he or she is already having a boy/girlfriend, maybe to fulfill their own selfishness, or worse, sometimes it's just a mere exploitation. Fuck love, they say.

"Honey, I want to buy some clothes and shoes later OK. Why don't you accompany me?"
(buy it on your own time, dammit!)

"Honey, Do you know that A has dumped B and My mother has told C that D has been married to E?"
(I don't know and I don't care! This night is supposed to be about us... why is everyone in Indonesia so stupid to realize that?)

3. At the end of the date, this is what's supposed to happen : The guy goes to her place, and then he looks at her in the eye. The girl shall say, "I'm really having fun tonight, James."

"I am having a great time too, Halle."

"The dinner was .." and they nod at each other "great. Yeah it is."

And then the possible lines after that are...

"We should do this again."

or "I'll call you."

or "Yeah.. that would be great."

or "... James?"

or "Uh uh?"

or .... "Do you want to come in?"

Back to Indonesia. At the end of the date. There will be no acknowledgement about how it went that night. There's no bother about what you think and want to say deeply (because probably they are not human enough to feel it, or probably just that stupid to!), so there will be no lingering memories when it ends. How can some people say it's romantic? I really can't understand, coz whenever I went through this.. I would always think to myself ... despite all that had happened that night... the last word would be just...


It's such a slap in the face.


Today's quote : "A tiny mirror, when you see into it, you'll see yourself as an old lady."
Today's one-line-bit : "I'm happy to encounter a girl that is different from the usual Indonesian girls. And she turns out to be my dear old friend. Ah, what life."

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