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Monday, May 12, 2008

The Okayness In Me

Have you ever felt like this?

Imagine there is one magic ball for each of us in this world, and we are relentlessly seeking for it. There are so many magic balls in front of our eyes, but we only need one to make our lives a whole circle.

Few weeks back, I found what was looked like to be "the" magic ball for me. I was so happy. The only thing was that my magic ball had a whole other life on its own, and it was different from me. It didn't want me. For it, I was only a regular magic ball, not "the" magic ball it was looking for.

Few days later, I found out that the magic ball I was keeping my eyes on turned out wasn't even looking for another magic ball as it had already got one.

Selfishly thinking, I was hoping that its magic ball fell and broke in to pieces so that it should need another one.

Why is it so "magical" for me if I am not "magical" at all for it?

The end is that magic is dumb. It sucks. It hurts. And it's an awful analogy. So I'd better stop that.


Anyway, last night was supposed to be real fun. But then it spun out of control. My magic ball wasn't around (HOY! Enough of the magic ball bullshit!!!) and I was on my way home when Cia Cia called.

Instead of The Secret, previous night was all K Two spiced with awkwardness, sore throat, overcrowdedness, high-pitched songs, exhaustion, and a late drive.

But it was a fun night overall. Fine, but not great. Below from what I'd expected, but better than none.

I was being a little selfish for expecting great things and I'm a little unsatisfied. Is it OK?

Have you ever felt like that?

But I'm OK. I'm OK. I'm looking forward to having more things to happen. Until that, I ... I don't really know. Just roll with it I guess.


I'm OK
I really am now
Just needed some time
to figure things out
not telling lies
I'll be honest with you
still we don't know
what's yet to come...
[Lene Marlin - Disguise]

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