Best View : FireFox v.3 - 1280 x 800
Soliloquist's Blog : All Conversations are One-Way.

My Favourite Posts, Pick One :

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

100 Years : Take an Action, or Nothing at All

If ever a bedazzled djinn came to me and granted me one wish, whatever it was, I would always wish for an ability to control time, to manipulate it like "The Sister of Fates" of God of War, Marty McFly of "Back to the Future", or Adam Sandler's "Click".

But what if there's no possible way to solve the what-ifs?

Would it be the life I am living this second? Oh yes, I am living in a one-way reality with no turning back, just like everybody is. Except for these past few days, I've been realizing about how my life had been too late for everything.

And then, something John Ondrasik told me through his song confirmed all of my suspicions above : that I am indeed too late for anything, and I'm twenty two. Ironically, I know just the way to solve this problem. I just either don't know how to, or unconsciously don't want to. But why?

If ever I could turn back the hands of time, fifteen sounds a really good place time to go.

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming...
Counting the ways to where you are.

I don't know how Ondrasik put it, but he did a hell of a good job understanding one's life, like mine.

I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars

This is where I am, I think, and this was where the too late part kicked in. I have had so many people telling me about it (which by the way, don't do that, it makes me sick), but I don't need telling. I've known it already.

This is a perfect verse of my life, (if it had happened) except I don't see who "feels better than ever" because it can't be me, since I'm not "on fire" and I've never been to Mars. I hope you know what I mean. Sadly, at this point, I'm still "counting the ways to where you are"...

Look! I am fifteen! Only not in the shape I wanted it to be, being trapped in a twenty two's body like this.

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
Fifteen... , there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

There. There's my point.


Okay, let's see about my future : about the only thing I actually am frightened of.

I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind

I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life

Would that be my future, that predictable? But I have to say it is true, if you see it from now's perspective. That's what everybody shall become. That's normal. But why there is something inside me that tells me I'm not going to have it as my future? It tells me that I will not having it because two things might happen. First, I am too late now. Second, I want it to be different. What shape of insecurity is this? Is it a bad thing?

All I know is, probably when that time comes, I will still dreaming the song I was dreaming coupleteen years before. I will want to be a fifteen again.

But If I can't do that, at least I still can say this to my children other people, right?

"15 there's still time for you.."
"Time to buy, Time to lose yourself within a morning star..."

But now. This is all I've got to say:

"15 I'm all right with you..."
"15, there's never a wish better than this"

When you only got 100 years to live.

Half time goes by
Suddenly you're wise with another blink of an eye
67 is gone. The sun is getting high
We're moving on...

I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you're on your way
Every day's a new day...

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey fifteen... , there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Like I said, ironically, I know just the way to solve this problem. I just have to have the courage to take action. Time doesn't look back on you. It doesn't care about you. The only way to change your future, is to change it right now. Do nothing at all, like you always do Bambang, and you'll never even experience the second verse of this song.

It's hard work when you only got 100 years to live. Time counts. Perhaps that's why it takes John Ondrasik only five minutes for fighting.

No comments:

Post a Comment