Oh Your God, I watched MOVIES

When I think about my last-nights, I sure will be thinking of the movies I've watched. Cuz hell, has this world become so boring that I actually ended up watching movies? Oh, shit. I'm babbling.

Anyway, this is some of the movies I've watched and remembered.

Perfume - The Story of A Murderer

Actually, this movie is adapted from the best-selling novel by Patrick Süskind, Perfume (1985). I've been searching all this time for the movie cuz I myself have owned and read the novel. It was a great story of a perverted-genius who became a murderer in order to create the best perfume in the world. Jean-Baptiste Grenouille was born lacking a personal odour but endowed with an incomparable sense of smell, he apprentices himself to a perfumer and becomes obsessed with procuring the perfect scent that will make him fully human. In the process, he creates perfumes—presumably based on pheromones—that powerfully manipulate human emotions, murdering 25 girls to take their scent.

The movie is directed by Tom Tykwer, and starred by Ben Whishaw (Grenouille), Ben Whishaw, Alan Rickman (who also potrayed Snape in Harry Potter movies), and Rachel Hurd-Wood. It was released in 2006.

What I like about the movie. It presented the dark journey of Grenouille awesomely and accurately. The movie was quick-paced, serious, and quite in-your-face kinda thing. Certainly doesn't suit to teenage viewers or younger. It contains of harsh and gruesome scenes of murders and sex. The way they made the orgy scene was incredibly stunning. I couldn't believe the actually show that scene. Athough it's an important scene throughout the movie, but still. Awesome.

Here's more pictures from Perfume.

[This is Ben Whishaw, brilliantly potrayed Grenouille as a true killer-genius]

[This is the Perfume Novel Cover which exists in Indonesia only. My own copy is like this. I kinda like this artistic cover. It's hard to find a bigger picture than this one. Sorry.]

[Patrick Suskind]

The Butterfly Effect 2

This is the other movie I watched. Not great, to tell you the truth. It's basically following the previous success of Butterfly Effect which starred by Asthon Kutcher and Amy Smart. The story is still about time-travelling to the past, change it, and then find your future had been altered. The story should be more creative and mindnumbing than the previous one. But because it's not, then I shall tell you that it's a bad and worthless movie. Don't watch it.

Children of Men

This is another movie. It's boring. The movie moves very slow and slow... You'll die. Believe me. The story isn't bad. When the humanity can't reproduce anymore due to the infertility outbreak in 2008 or something, the world is dying and is in warfare between the government and the rebellous immigrants shit that I don't totally get. Meanwhile, Our King Arthur Clive Owen must save and protect the last pregnant woman on earth from being murdered by a bunch of guys with guns. I don't get it, when all the soldiers and war-dudes see the new-born baby, then they all stand still and become unfiercely war-less. And then, as Clive Owen passes them, they start to shoot each other again. I mean, WTF. If they aren't gonna kill the baby and the girl anyway, then why should bother protecting her in the first place.

Anyway, the only reason I want to see this movie is because it's a work from Alfonso Cuaron, who directed Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban with such a brilliant touch. But I am quite disappointed with Children of Men, maybe 70 out of 100.

Finally, I ended up watching American Pie. The first one. I shall continue with the next ones tonight. Shit. I am watching movies. Fuck! Did you hear that? So much for today.

I'll see you in the next post, which may be more cheerful than this one. CaO.

The Longing [PART THREE]

Date: Thu, 07 Jan 2013 23:22:08 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Will" <rear_silhouette@dreamcanon.com>
Subject: (none)
To: "Sara" <flaxen_flame@dreamcanon.com>


Dear Sara,

It seems that you will not be back here, anymore. For good. And I will never have the chance to see you no more. I just want to say to you that I'm all right here. It has been so long ago. The precious moment that we had shared with each other in that one sweet day, I will never... I tell you now, I will never forget it. It was the best day of my life. I don't know how you feel about that because we haven't really had the chance to even talk about it. I don't know. I don't blame you, but you seemed to not care about that. I might be missing you too much that I didn't see this coming. Maybe you didn't live it at all. Maybe you didn't feel it the way I did. Maybe I was wrong this entire time. Maybe you don't even like me for once. It's OK. I'm OK now. Like I said, it has been too long ago.

But I wanna tell you about how it was for me this last few months. It has been about five months since my last email which until this moment I don't know if you have read and got that. And it's been half a year since we last met. I have lived my life normally. I have hosted a dinner party with out old folks in Thanksgiving (yeah you missed that), and I have attended Jane's Christmas party that last for the whole night. I think she was knocked up that day. :P (that's another one that you missed) The New Years' Eve was a blast. Ronny was French-Kissed by a number of fat women and church midgets. He had to run away when the countdown started :D. I was alone, though. You could be there with me, and we could have spent our cold night by the lake. I have had all of it prepared. Or at least I had it prepared in my mind, cuz I had known you wouldn't come. You weren't there.

Sometimes, when my head wants to explode, I burden myself with my thoughts about you. I know it seems like a stupid thing to do and can torture my head even worse, but somehow I find it comforting. There was this night when the rain was pouring down like the unstoppable tears and the surroundings had presented me with that old loneliness, I knew that my thoughts would be brought back to you. You popped into my head straight away. I couldn't help it. I was trying to resist you most times, but I.... let's just say it's an absurd thing to do.

Although our happy memories made me relieved and hanged me on to them, but they existed only for a couple of seconds. My uncontrolled mind had always run away from the happy parts and begun to pull the unsolved questions in. I was starting to think of your non-existence, and asking for the reasons of why you couldn't come back to me. Guessing and assuming is all I could do. I wished I could ask you in person and know that you can't stall. Just to relinquish the unanswered questions inside me.

And then I would get paranoid. I would start think that you have forgotten me, or that you purposefully didn't want to see me anymore. You have cut me off your life. I was starting to be sure on that, since all the evidence had been pointing to it. I loathed myself for thinking that. It was a serious miscarriage of my faith. Our faith. But then I asked myself that very sentence. Is it still our faith? Does that word "our" still have any meaning to you? I began to wind down and down. The pessimism in me had arisen so high that I couldn't stop it.

Here I am, still waiting after all these times. It's like I'm waiting for the lies to come true. I don't know what makes me still fighting for you. Why do I still do this to myself? I am thinking a lot now, as I am typing on this keyboard. Why can't I just bail? That's what you do. And you seem to have succeeded. I have been erased from your life. Is that?

Sara, I want you to remember one thing. With a blink of your eyes, time will fly. Two thousand and thirteen now, it is counting. It never stops. And the worst of all, IT FEELS QUICKER EACH DAY. You will meet another man in Paris, have a great life and other extraordinary events to unfold. I will be sitting here right on this spot. I may be unable to overcome myself. I may be unable to overcome the loneliness. They are two very strong enemies. (But I will try) If only I have you by my side. So I will only promise you one thing, cuz if anything shall happen, anything at all, to me or to you, I won't stop waiting for you even if I say I do. I won't forget you and all our moments together, even if I find out about you really cutting me off. I won't give up my hope and memories to the pessimistic side in me, even if I have lost and totally thwarted. If I lose, then let it be. The way life's supposed to be.

I will always be missing you, Sara. Today and Tomorrow.

Sincerely Yours,

Will Cleafant

This is NOT normal

When I woke up today, everybody had put on some awesome clothes, murmuring about what a beautiful clear day it was. I came in to the living room, half naked and half conscious. The silent fell and everyone in my family stared at me. I rubbed my head and said "Kiong Hee ar..." in a laughy tone of mine. They silenced for a second, and then continued talking again as if noone had intruded their conversation. Smiling with unknown reason, I got back in to my room and threw my body back on the bed and continued to sleep. What heck of a morning.

My family got a weird sense of humour, they could be insensible. To them, I mean, to us, CNY was and is a great day, it's just we didn't celebrated as glamourly and importantly as the other families I know. This day comes and goes to us, if the moods support, we celebrate, if not, it's just another normal day where all of our neighbours turn UN-normal.

[This word above IS my name. You can easily find it everywhere. Means LUCK. You think it's suit for me huh? Sometimes I do think so. But lately, luck seems like it has spun its way from me]

This Chinese New Year rocks in some ways I never experienced before. I was like, is it "Sa Cap Meh? or Ji Kau Meh?" We had our lovely undescribeable dinner last night before I ended up watching Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire for the fifty two times. (Hah???) Like I said, it was undescribeably weird.

[This is my LUCK which has shunk, smothered, and spun away. IF you stare still to the upside-down word quite closely and long enough, you may see a sketch of a short boy who is not Happy and is long to be so. Can't you see him?]

Today was NOT a normal day for me. I, due to the late waking up (actually, I got up pretty quick, just too late to made some get away plan, if you know what I mean, out of the house plan), then I was told to "guard" the house alone while all of my families went for bloody "angpau". I didn't really want to come, it's better for me to lock myself in the house, replying the non-stop texts from my friends out there (which had caused my phone to fail errored somehow).

[See? It's everywhere.]

Three hours later, they came back with four different red-envelopes that were cursed as "angpau". I was a little shocked to have recieved four angpau-s without paying any visit whatsoever (besides sitting and soliloquizing in my own room alone). That was the easiest money I've ever earn :P

Maybe I was over-reacting when I thought I would do lots of things today, maybe came up with several ingenious plans, and spent this one day that "ought to be" special.

[Click to enlarge]

[So I ended up in a place where my mind has always been, but I was so confused as I kept questioning myself of why I was here. I wanted to post an entry so bad, but what shall I write? I went down browsing, but what's there to surf? I wound up with ???-s inside my soliloquial head.]

I didn't do any "paicia-s", nor do I any meeting with relatives. The UN-normal thing was, on this BIG day that should be, I didn't do the things I usually do, I didn't crave for such NORMAL activities which suit this day. And I still felt like New Year.

[I have nothing else to do. How I wish to have a naked chick popping out in my crystal ball as well. :P]

But was I happy? Well, for the last twenty to thirty hours I have lived, I was kinda dead inside. Couldn't feel my heart and brain, and therefore couldn't answer any of the usual questions like that.

[You can't? I wonder why]

Happy Chinese New Year, everybody! Sort of.

Pictures Talk.

Hey, yeah!!!

.
.
.

Get down
.
.
.

Get down
.
.
.

And move it all around

Hey baby love I need a girl like you

But tell me if you feel it too

I'm in delusion every minute every hour

My heart is crying out for you

I feel in heaven when I look in your eyes

I know that you are the one for me

(one for me)

You drive me crazy cuz

You're one of a kind

I want your lovin'

And I want it right now

Ooh baby you're so fine

I'm gonna make you mine

Your lips they taste so sweet

You're the one for me

You're my ecstasy

You're the one I need

Bang, bang, bang

Here we come

Here we slam

It's the Fun Factory

with the BSB's

All the girls

Get on your knees

Tryin' to scream

Or touch me please

Backstreet Boys

Are you with it (yeah)

A.J. hit it

Come on girl and get down

Smack it up

Flip it

And move it all around

Here it is if you wanna get with this

Put you on the top of my list, uh

Ooh whoa, ooh whoa, ooh whoa

Whoa, ooh whoa, ooh whoa

Ooh whoa, ooh whoa, ooh whoa

Whoa, ooh whoa, ooh whoa, ooh

You're the one for me

Y o u ' r e m y e c s t a s y

You're the one I need

[At some point, the crazy YOU just took pictures of everything!]

[This babbling song is Backstreet Boys - Get Down]

[The song has nothing to do with the pictures, whatsoever!!!]

Dismal Valents

Update : The long-promised picture. :P Finally I can post this and fulfill my promise.. xoxoxo

Do you believe in love?

I don’t. I mean, I don’t know yet. I know I used to. But I think I shall know by the end of tomorrow morning. Or by the end of tomorrow. See, tomorrow is what-you-may-call-as-a-special Valentine’s Day.

What’s the deal with this day anyway? The day of love? Caring? Affection that spreads around every corner of people’s life. I don’t see it sparkling with its beautiful wings of love, yet, I guess. On my previous posts, I may have held on hope on something special to happen tomorrow. I don’t know. I kinda hope it will go down as I had hoped, now. But I can’t stop thinking what “else” will happen on ‘me’ IF it’s not? I don’t know if you get what I mean by this, I hope you do. Actually, I hope you don’t. I don’t know, I’m very confused right now. I have been using a lot of I-don’t-knows in this very post. I don’t know. Let me take a time to think of other things to soliloquize about.

See, this is why I hate holidays in general. They make me think more and hope for more. And it’s kinda too much to ask. I’m just one person with no spectacular ability in fulfilling my own happiness. I just always hope for the best, believing that it will lead me to a satisfying outcome in which way I can stumble on some pieces of my heart and soul, solving the baffling “happiness” puzzle of my own.

And that was what I think a few minutes ago. I just received a new confirmation about what’s likely (or what’s unlikely) to happen to me tomorrow. And it’s not good. Looks like I don’t have to wait until tomorrow morning after all, the bad things always come strangely quick, unlike the good ones that appear to be “hiding” from me, I can only find “them” in a long period of time, like semi-monthly, monthly, or even annually. What’s wrong with me? Am I still as normal as a lonely guy who hopes on his own hopes? Or have I turned far worse?

I really hope that word twisting won’t bore me, coz that’s one of the little things left in me I can hang on to, besides few of my close friends who can’t really be there for me at all times, remembering I am unavailable at most times, and at those most times, I feel lonely the most, and that hurts the most.

The battle between me and loneliness is an endless war. A never-ending struggle is what it is. I have a small number of alliances I can use, I often use. They come in the form of love, hope, togetherness, and the most powerful tool of all, the combination of the three of them.

The power of LOVE should be at large in the time of Valentine’s Day. We should be able to use it to overcome loneliness in that whole one day. Because the more special the day gets, the more difficult it is to do that. The more wonderful the day gets, the stronger the force of loneliness becomes. Hence, great power and amount of love is required. But the trick is, love can backfire. Sometimes the greatest enemy of our own comes from our best friend. And if that case applies in a Valentine’s Day, hell will seem much a pleasant place to live.

It’s a reason why I don’t get my hopes too high on this one friend, Love. Especially today. But has it been too late? I had dismembered my own heart accidentally or not, I don’t care. Valentine’s Day is coming and I can only deal with the aftermath, of me.

Love is supposed to be a beautiful thing. Jacq said so. I used to say so. Everybody I know said so. Valentine’s Day should be a blast. Chocolates and gifts, surprise cards and secret admirers, dreamy dates and confession of the unspoken love. It should be FUN. What the hell is wrong with me?

Am I going to change my mind about this so-called day in the end of this post? That’s what I usually do, didn’t I? Always put a dramatic ending (of which I thought it was) in every post that I think was great enough to be published. Naaah, I don’t really care about it right now. As far as I go today, this post is about my point of view of this year’s Valentine’s Day. Thank you for wasting your precious time reading these long and overwhelming thoughts.

Someone may say that it’s not good to linger in the past. I beg to differ. If you have some happiness wrapped inside your memories, you can hang on to it, as a great way to feed yourself some of the happiness, to remember what it’s like back then. I think that’s what I do IF I have no happy hope in the near future. Trust me, it feels good. Not wrong, but good.

So, in that case, this soliloquy shall be packed also with my yesterday’s memories. Meeting some old friends always excites me, I have said. But if they are Jacq and the gang, then it’ll be felt ten times better! (See how I am praising you guys here…: P) Here I have some pictures which I stole from Jacq’s blog. Hehe.. I shall post them here also, because it won’t be right not to.

So all you guys, Happy (¿) Valentine’s Day! It has come, yet again.

[I shall post another pictures later. I have alot of them, just don't have the chance. ]

Valentine’s Day has come! It’s time for me (for us) to despise.

The Longing [PART TWO]

Date: Thu, 19 August 2012 17:49:54 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Will" <rear_silhouette@dreamcanon.com>
Subject: (none)
To: "Sara" <flaxen_flame@dreamcanon.com>


Dear Sara,

Two months it has been. I don't know if I can make it any longer. A few days ago I would call it a hell, that it could NOT get any worse. But I was wrong everyday. It's getting harder and harder here without you. Knowing I would wake up for a new day that meant for nothing. Another day without you by my side.

Two months it has been. I still miss you. Maybe even more as nights replace days, and days replace nights. The only right thing I could do is when I was lying on my bed after finishing one more big heavy vexatious day, contemplating about you and your scent, your touch, your smile, and all about you. It had felt satisfyingly great and excruciatingly agonizing at the same time as I realized that that wouldn't come true. It was not real. You were not real. I kept getting snapped back into the reality where you are not around.

Maybe I have been obsessed by you. I don't know and care if it's a bad thing or not. You have made my life colourful, you have painted me on a canvas with an unusual skill of an artist. You've loved me with tenderness and brushed me with gentleness. But you had to go to away to fulfill your dream, leaving your masterpiece dwelled in a shadowy insecurity. Don't you know you've discarded the persons who love you? Don't you realize that? Don't you miss them?

Today was a very bad day for me. Much more awful than the other-already-awful days. And I had no you to tell me to hang on. I was alone.

Maybe in time we'll meet again? If that, then time must equal forever. But I will not be giving up on you. As much as it hurts, I will always be waiting for you to come home. You know that I love you, and I know that you do. Each day shall disappear and a new day shall come. I will go along it and end it just to see you standing on my doorstep. Waiting is not as bad as the way it has been.

Two months it has only been. I'm waiting for you to come back, because when you do, I will make the time stand still. And forever will be all in one piece of moment. Ours.

Yours,


Will Cleafant

The Longing [PART ONE]

Date: Wed, 09 June 2012 18:17:37 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Will" <rear_silhouette@dreamcanon.com>
Subject: Re :
To: "Sara" <flaxen_flame@dreamcanon.com>


Dear Sara,


I know it has only been three days since we last met, but I just want to tell you that these three days has been a struggle. Yeah. It has. I know I have said that I really enjoyed spending time with you, if I could give up anything precious in my life just to be with you again, I’d do that happily. I’d do that in an instant. That time we had, I never experienced that before with someone else. That unique feeling overwhelmed me with excitement and infatuation. I was so nervous yet so eager. I have never felt that way before.

I could still remember everything so vividly. Still I could hear your voice whispering in my ear, your giggling laughter, your soft hands caressing mine, your warm body against mine. I miss you.

I have been living in delusion these last three days, and you made me. It’s a very sweet delusion and you’re in every inch of it. I can’t even find the right words in this three dimensional world to describe how I feel about you. But I know the exact words I want to say to you right now. I miss you.

Have an enjoying trip in Paris. I know how demanding that city can do you. Believe me, I’ve been there. No walk in the moonlight can cover that. Not enough Eiffel to climb. But at least you’re not living in some kind of delusion. :)


Yours truly,


Will Cleafant

In the Not-so-blackout-anymore City

* PICTURE UPDATED

Yep, it’s our lovely hometown Medan. It has survived earthquakes, floods, and apparently, has overcome blackout as well. But there are still not so much things you can do in here, I mean, instead of shopping, watching movies, grabbing delicious food, gaming, hanging around, wait a second… what was my point before? Hahaha… Oh…

I mean, in spite of all those things that might seem very exciting, it’s really a boring city. For example, when my bud Erick came back town, we honestly had nothing to do. No good enough places to go besides all those usual tiring shopping centers. But can you enjoy life within all the boringness?

There is a line, a thin silver and silk line seamed tightly beneath hundreds of thousand of other white lines. It’s not a question of finding it, it’s a question of how to.

My weekend. My old friend from came back to visit from Australia. Been a while, and a while refers to three and half years. So, we went here and there, talked about this and that, spent a little time and money.

I like how it feels when I’m meeting a great old friend. As I have said before, it excites me. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t go see other people that aren’t old friends of mine. Yesterday, I have a real fun day with my great friend Nov_Sie. Watched a lil bit of Primeval (of which was pretty good, like seeing a man’s skull being wrenched by a giant crocodile. I mean, how often you see a sight like that? :P).

This February is bound to be great and filled with excitement. There will be Valentine’s Day where love spreads within the air. I’m barely there, but I can feel the enthusiasm already. Talk about love and Valentine’s Day, it will never come to an end. I will post something about that in the flow of time. Or you can read one too here, on my good friend Jacq’s blog, or on my second post in late November last year. Meanwhile, I’d better get back to my own topic…

Ah… There is also the Chinese New Year which will fall on February 18th, there will be lots of my old friends coming back to this very town, and I have this good mood circularizing me all around the clock. Hope it won’t vanish. :P

There are a bunch of words that I wanted them to be written on this current post, but I can’t really find a clue of where and how I put them. They are words that express my current feeling I might say. I shall just post them here randomly. Hehehe.. I’m not sure what good it can bring, but I know that they can brighten the mood here. Even more! See? I’m soliloquizing again! Woohoooo!!!

Lalala Lala…… Zeal, Memories, Wise Men, Eventually, Heaven, oh yeah.. Heaven. I didn’t believe it is exist. But that can’t mean that I can’t make my own heaven. So here it goes…

Heaven. [Hé:ven]
1. (n.) — an awesomely great place to be, great timing, great acquaintances, good times.
2. (adv.) — when cold mixes with warmth.
3. (n.) — it’s a friend of sugar? No, it’s a friend of mine. (at least for now)

Heaven tastes like honey.

That’s it. This is a happy post. Remember it.
I just watched a lot of movies (u know, catching up a lil bit :P) like Happy Feet, SAW III, the Break Up, Bewitched, Rumor has it…

And I found this quote.
“Suddenly I realize. The important thing is NOT what it is that you do. It’s WHO you do it with.”

So come Medan, you may have no good and other great places to go, that’s fine. I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. I have healed my life. I have found that silver line. It glows upon my palm. No more loneliness, I’ve thwarted it. I’ve conquered it. Suddenly, I can see that black silhouette of mine has left me. No more Rhett Miller’s song. No more American Pie. Smile, it goes real far.

What was Chandler saying to Jill Goodacre that time they got trapped inside an ATM vestibule during a blackout? “Asi es perfecto.”

No more blackout, sweetheart.

Man Versus Money

Recently overheard...

A sister : Which one will you choose, an ugly but very rich girl, OR a poor but very beautiful girl?

A man : No option for a pretty girl who happens to be rich huh?

A sister : So, money is a significant factor, isn’t it?

A mother : You should find a girl who is rich, so that you can have a steady life in the future.

A man : Why can’t I count on myself for providing me a steady life?

A mother : Because you ARE a poor boy now, economically speaking. No need to deny it.

A man : I’m not denying it. I just don’t see why I need a rich girl to make me unpoor. I can make money by myself.

A sister : Yeah, you don’t want to be marked as a Materialistic Boy.

A man : Because I am not.

A sister : So you pick the beautiful but poor one?

A man : No, I say I would pick the one I like no matter how rich or poor she is.

A sister : Ah, fascist! Hahaha.

A mother : You should pick the rich one so her father can support you with a good and promising job.

A man : What? Why would her father even offer me a job?

A mother : If the girl really likes you, then it would be no problem at all. The dad shall grant anything that his daughter wishes.

A sister : That is the same as letting your girlfriend control your life. Even when you’re successful with the job all by yourself, the girl shall say, “Oh it’s not your job. It’s my father’s. It’s only a GIFT.” I mean, a guy must have more dignity than that.

A mother : No, it’s all right. Rather than having a poor wife to fill in your already-poor life, you would be just living under a bridge. You wouldn’t want to add a poor with a poor. It comes back with a poor.

A sister : Doesn’t negative against negative become positive? Hahaha…

A man : Yeah. But a negative plus a negative is still a negative.

A sister : Either way, he still can’t date girl because of money. He got more pride than that. If he does, then he will be dying inside the girl’s pants. *

A mother : If he doesn’t, he and his wife won’t even wear pants at all.

A man : Hahaha… As far as I know, money is irrelevant. It’s neither here nor there. I don’t mind dating a poor girl while riding a pedicab with her, also don’t mind if the girl owns a sedan and she’s the one who drives instead of me.

A sister : Well, you can say that now, but in reality, you will get embarrassed. At least, a guy should be richer than the girl. It’s not a perfect world, you know.**

So. Whose side are you on? What do you think of this social-sexual-politic issue? Man without money. If this world is full of materialistic men and women, then really poor guys won’t stand a chance, will they? Or should they only date another poor woman as well? Are rich women out of his league? Whoever you are, please share your opinion.

Has love become an indistinct factor that doesn’t even pertinent anymore? Has money blinded all of us? Can a perfect world, I mean, Can my perfect world where money isn’t an issue in a relationship, BE a real world that we are all living?

** The conversation above is originally in Hokkienese

*The actual sentence is like this : "See khee cabo e tekho"